Guest: "When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that."
Basil: "But that is Torquay, madam."
Guest: "Well it's not good enough."
Basil: "Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain..."
Guest: "Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea."
Basil: "You can see the sea! It's over there between the land and the sky!"
Guest: "I'd need a telescope to see that."
Basil: "Well might I suggest you move to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferably in it."