Girls are strange, for intence at my old school all the girls wanted to go out and date "chavs" and other people who are completely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ just becuase they're "cool" and "tuff". They also seem to think people who wear glassess are nerds/geeks. (I wear glassess.)

Azog: Today mi fellow Orks, I'm goin' ter teach ya da propa mevvod o' a tea party.
Ork #1: I donz know boss, I donz tink I loike this tea fing.
*Azog and an Ork are at a tea table. The Ork is holding a cup of tea while Azog holds it daintily, and with pinky out.*
Ork #2: Yeah boss. I donz see da point o' this
Ork #1: Iz it choppy?
Azog: No. I'm afraid not.
Ork #2: Iz it shooty?
Azog: If ya chukk it at uumies, yea.
Ork #3: iz it stompy?
Azog: No, not at awl.
Ork #2: So woss da point den?
Azog: Y'knowz. I hab no idea.
Ork #1: 'Aha. Ee doesn't know
Ork #3: Sum boss he iz.
Azog: Ya eiver follow mi lead, or I'll kills ya.
Ork #2: Wot? Donz be sillee. Weez goin' ter getcha furst.
*The first ork goes to jump at Azog.*
Azog: Boot ter da 'ed.
*The First Ork Falls over*
Ork #1: Wot in da 'ell was dat?
Ork #2: I donz know.
*The second Ork grabs his shoota, and goes to use it. Azog throws the cup.*
Ork #2: Ahhh! Mi eyz! It burns!
Azog: Dat'll teach ya.
Ork #3: I tink I'd ravva du da tea boss.
Azog: Datz a gud Ork. There'z 'ope f'yaz yet.
Ork #3: This bedda be word it boss.
Azog: Nows. Furst. Ya take da cup. Loike so.
*Azog holds the cup, with his pinky out, the remaining Orks does the same.*
Azog: 'ey! Pinky owt.
Orks: Oi. Yes Boss.
Azog: Take. Sip. An wen in doubt. Pinky owt.
Orks: Right Boss.
Azog: Nows ya shud be per-pared fer next tea time. Ya boys kan go nows.

Yo yo ma bredda, I be sayin we blew da ♥♥♥♥ out of dem nooby noobs! Yeah ta a we got 500 tons of da marijuana ♥♥♥♥ ya know?

After recent studies thousands of Scottish people have been on diets of deep fried food. For this a new scheme has been created destroying the apparatus which creates such heresy and new healthier food schemes have been implemented. Government officials have warned us saying this will make Glasgow far more dangerous as with more healthier people, nastier fights will occur. With this in mind conscription of Glaswegians into the Army will begin within a year.

The King Firefail of Denmark has been found, although Ste then proceeded to rape him, and so once again, he has died.