The Great Shit Buckets

Long, long ago, there was a man, a single man—some refer to him as a god—created a wonderful item. This item, subject to debate by many scholars and philosophers throughout the ages, was what it is now known as the "bucket."

An item for storing the very essence of a human's consumption, anger, blood, sweat, tears, and glory into a simple container. Known to the Greeks as "Shittius Bucketius," and to the Communists as "Brown Bombs," the bucket exists for the sole retribution to spread the glory of our Lord and Savior, Gabe Newell, to the common peasants, commonly known as plebeians.