Pizza Titan Ultra is an older game from 2018. It's a venerable 7 years old at the time of this review. It's also broken and unplayable for many. When launching the game, the obtuse and buggy menu requires several attempts to start the game... which fails, instead presenting a blank white screen. You can quit out of the white screen and back to the menu, but that's it. The developer is aware of this problem and deliberately refused to fix it or maintain their software... but they still want YOUR money for this unplayable game.

It's a shoddy console port from a small time Canadian developer. The premise is fine, of course, you're a giant mobile pizza restaurant in a bipedal giant robot and you deliver pizzas by punching them into buildings.

From a technical perspective, if you can get it to work (probably not) the game doesn't meet basic minimum requirements that most PC gamers expect as standard.

The game features lazy low-polygon "retro" assets, making this look like a barely functional 3D game from the 1990s. It's unclear why the developers weren't able to arrange high quality, high polygon count contemporary assets for the game, and also irrelevant... what matters is that this looks bad as a result of their decisions, a compromise PC gamers shouldn't have to put up with.

The controls can't be customised, which will be an annoyance for many, but it can also render the game unplayable for differently-abled gamers, left handed gamers or gamers using AZERTY or other international keyboard layouts.

PC gamers will be insulted by the demand from the developer that a console peasant children's toy controller should be used, despite this being on PC. Developers should try to be aware which platform they're developing for, and must never, under any circumstances dictate to gamers how their games are to be experienced.

Because this is designed for consoles, it carries a number of deliberate design deficiencies. Compromises were made to cater to the inferior console gaming appliances that the game was designed for. These are unfortunate compromises and limitations that PC gamers shouldn't be forced to accept, but it's evident that PC was a second thought for the console-centric developers. The game is deficient as a result of these choices, and would have been so much better without the handicaps that designing games for consoles forces upon a game. Once more, console peasants have made gaming worse for everyone.

These technical defects push this game below acceptable standards for any modern PC game.

The poor quality of this game is reflected by how many people spent time with it. At the time of this review, SteamDB shows the all-time peak player number was only 14 players. This is a remarkably low number, and now, the only player activity occurs once or twice a month, presumably someone loading it up to see what it is then quickly uninstalling it. Considering there's over 120 million gamers on Steam and well over 110,000 games for gamers to choose from, the overwhelming lack of interest in this low quality game is to be expected.

Because the game is broken and unplayable for me, it may also not work for other gamers. This is a solid reason to approach this game with some scepticism.

So, should you buy this game? Is this one of the best of the 110,000+ games on Steam?

Pizza Titan Ultra has the preposterous price of $12 USD, for which you could easily get any number of older AAA games. Given the defects and quality issues with the game, coupled with the unrealistic price, this is impossible to recommend.

For comparison, the $12 asking price for this game could get you games that do more than show you a blank white screen, like "Remnant: From The Ashes", "Dead Cells" or "Divinity: Original Sin 2". Quality, professionally made games like those are frequently on sale cheaper than this.