The first two neighborhoods are great! Scoping out suburban homes for the perfect time to sneak in, tracking down unique and valuable loot, doing Keystone Kops chases and hiding in closets to avoid getting tazed; this is a janky game with plenty of rough spots, but there's also a lot to enjoy if you vibe with it. The final act of the game and the DLC lose the plot a bit, you move on to industrial areas and palatial estates that feel more like typical stealth game levels than the things that made the rest of the game special. But if you power (or cheat) your way through them, the New Game+ mode lets you play through the good neighborhoods all over again!

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 15% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☑ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10


Like the game, prefer the follow up tho!

Thief Simulator offers an addictive, methodical gameplay loop built around scouting, stealing, and selling. Each heist feels rewarding, with solid progression as you unlock new regions, tools, and techniques. The tutorial is impressively thorough, clearly explaining each mechanic so you’re never lost or overwhelmed.

The gameplay loop is simple but satisfying—casing houses, learning resident routines, disabling alarms, and making a clean getaway. It’s repetitive in a relaxing way, perfect for a laid-back session of quiet larceny. The visual detail and day-night cycle help sell the illusion, adding both realism and tension.

For the price (around $2 on sale), it’s an easy recommendation, offering 20+ hours of engaging content and freedom to experiment with your approach.

That said, New Game+ leaves something to be desired. Progression slows dramatically when starting with no tools, and the new NPC routines make smaller houses frustratingly hard to rob without getting caught. Pedestrian AI also remains inconsistent—unbothered by you sprinting down the road with a 70-inch TV, yet furious if your car touches the sidewalk.

Despite these quirks, Thief Simulator remains an enjoyable, relaxing stealth-sandbox that nails the fantasy of being a clever, calculated thief.

– The Ember Archives
https://steamproxy.net/steamstore/curator/45601239/