This game is very good and funny, but the steam version is utter ♥♥♥♥♥.

I've seen Bloodlines listed and one of the GOATs many times. I enjoyed it, but I disagree about its GOAT status. Throughout the game, I found myself thinking, "This is just the illusion of choice."

When you start a new game and find yourself confronted with the character sheet, you'll think to yourself, "Wow, I can choose to play as either a stealthy vampire or a kickass vampire!" Actually, no. You can't. The game will require you to play as both at once.

There are some missions that allow you to take either a stealthy route or a combative route. However, the majority of missions (both main and side) force you to play it one way or the other. Many quests feature a boss battle, so you'll need to build up your combat abilities. This isn't Fallout or Deus Ex; there's no way to complete this game as a pacifist. Other quests penalize you for being seen or killing people, forcing your to spend points on your stealth abilities. To finish the game, you'll need a character who's good at both fighting and sneaking, not just one or the other. It's only the illusion of choice.

The most influential choice on your character sheet is your clan. It determines which supernatural abilities you can use and how other characters react to you. In the case of the Malkavian and Nosferatu (the crazy one and the ugly one), it changes how the entire game is played. Malkavians hear voices that hint at major spoilers, so I don't recommend them for a first-time playthrough. The easiest clans to play (in my opinion) are Brujah, Toreador, and Tremere. The Brujah are the best fighters, and the Tremere are vampire mages. The Toreador are described as described as gentle and artsy, but they have access to the best combat ability in the game.

Well-written, but very linear. Again, this isn't Fallout. It's not even Mass Effect. There are not a lot of decision points in Bloodlines, and you're not quite free to roam the world as you please. You're just following the dotted line. Some quests (mostly side quests) give you the opportunity to make a choice that affects the world or characters. However, it's not as frequent as in other (better) RPGs. Until the final mission, you're just a patsy for everyone else.

More than once, your only option will be the dumbest possible course of action. During one main story mission (no spoilers), you're talking to an NPC. Something bad happens, and the NPC says, "We need to get out of here now!" You don't get a dialogue option to just shut up and follow him. No, your only dialogue options are to argue with him. As a result, you miss your ride and get stuck there while the bad thing happens. (This incident is what prompted me to write a review.) It's infuriating. This is a role-playing game where the only role you can play is that of an idiot.

Other than the idiot protagonist you're trapped inside, the story is great. It's fun little intrigue about vampires vying for control of Los Angeles. I don't know why they would want LA instead of literally anywhere else, but whatever. The story would have been better if you had more control over which factions you work with throughout the game. As it is, you're stuck working for one person until just before the last mission. I can't help comparing it to other games that handled a faction conflict better, including and especially Fallout.

The only replayability comes from choosing a different clan during character creation. It changes the overall tone of the game, especially when you play as a Malkavian or Nosferatu. However, since a lot of missions don't offer much in the way of choice and consequences, they'll play out the same way no matter which clan you are.

Other than your clan, the most important decision in the game is who you side with in the last mission. So you can just save your game before that choice and then reload to see the different endings. You don't need to replay the entire game for that.

- Why is it so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dark??? I'm a vampire, I should have night vision! Half the time, I can't even see!
- Even with the Unofficial Patch, there are a lot of bugs. More than once, my character got stuck next to a door, forcing me to reload. Not in a door, next to a door.
- There's sexy posters of the female characters, but none of the male characters. Where's the beefcake??? I want to see Nines without a shirt, damn it! This isn't fair!

Buy it on sale. I had a good time, and I recommend playing at least once, maybe twice. However, if you go in expecting this to become a new favorite, you'll probably be disappointed. I know I was.

I very much enjoyed my play through of this game. Truly a masterpiece.
Played entirely on the steam deck too, just had to configure some things.