it just makes me exeedingly angry to see pro players make insane plays and perfect matches, and when i try the same thing i get my head blown clean off 20 seconds into the round by a global elite's smurf. like, what do i get? happiness? no. satisfaction? no. welfare? no. nothing. it's pointless. why do i still play? being hardstuck at silver is not fun. i can't win enough to get a rank, even. every match, it's just the same story. get killed by a 2.8 thousand hour global elite's smurf account, and lose 16-nil because the enemy team was so much better than us. like ♥♥♥♥♥♥ NaVi was on the enemy team, even though it's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ unranked comp. i saw a video like "how i went from 15 frags per match to 23 frags". i dont want 23 frags, i want 2. i want just 2 frags. i want that feeling, even just twice. i see improvent guides titled "how to go from averege to pro level in 30 minutes" man i jst wanna be averege. i don't care about going pro. i just wanna get my stattrak battle-scarred safari mesh ak to 3 kills. (that's not even a weapon i have). nothing is working. i've lowered my sens, i've made custom binds. i want to play but for what? the ghost of happiness floats so close, but always out of reach.